my friend likes to say that she goes "whitney teal" on people when she has to check a rude service provider or get a charge knocked off of her bill. that means, to her, that she calls someone on their stuff and forces them to do their job to her expectations.
going "whitney teal" on someone doesn't feel good. it doesn't involve raising your voice or insulting anyone. it's just being very direct, stating the problem(s) and not backing down until you get a resolution that you deem is fair.
this is not how women are taught to operate. women are supposed to use their charms, a smile, a sweet voice or rely on a person's kindness to get things done. we are not taught to ask directly. we are certainly not taught to demand. we negotiate. we settle. we're worse than Congressional Democrats when it comes to getting what we deserve.
how many times have I heard (always from a woman), "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar." to that I ask, "who the hell wants to catch flies?!"
also, it takes too much energy to conjure up honey when a person has been spewing vinegar at you.
so, all this to say that I go "whitney teal" on people instead.
but it never feels good. I always get what I want. plus the added, inconvenient feeling that I acted like a total bitch to get it.
objectively, I don't think that I'm
it's the cost of being a woman. we are not supposed to demand respect or equal treatment and when we do, we are labeled bossy bitches.
and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the stigma, I'm sick of the guilt. I'm sick of feeling like I've done something wrong when I advocate for myself.
I don't have a resolution. just a promise to myself that I will try really hard not to bitch-shame myself the next time I go "whitney teal" on someone.